Monday, September 19, 2011

The left phalange. I couldn't think of an appropriate name.

It's one of those days when all I want to do is hide my laptop in the neighbour's house and cry myself to sleep for no real reason. One of those days where even a shirtless Rupert standing in front of me wouldn't have done the trick (yes, THAT just happened). After a good bout of allergies which left me with so much pain that i couldn't utter a word without shedding a tear ortwo, I'm back to square one. this time, minus the allergic reaction.

It's one of those days when everything's going wrong, even though the problems are tiny in comparison to what you deal with on a daily basis. My rant list for now:

1. I want to go on a vacation. For those who know me, I'm repeating this for the 130813917361315th time. Clearly, I need a break, no?
2. I want a laptop that does not leave me off balance in the middle of the road.
3. Speaking of road, I wish people here had some sense of road etiquette. they see fat girl with two fat bags, but nooooooo! why move our heavy behinds to make way for someone who clearly wants to drop it all and run like her own behind is on fire, screaming on the streets?
4. I want to be able to stop editing my sentences while reading/ typing them. It's a good habit but for christ's sake, dear brain - ZIP IT.
5. I want good, creamy, light chocolate mousse that tastes of nothing but chocolate and light cream. the kind you only get at some restaurant near The Ambassador in town.
6. I want to chop of my tonsils, my neck, my right ear and my head. only because they hurt right now.
7. I am very very annoyed with the bombay police at the moment. dude, when we ask you to do something about rickshaw walas and their strikes and fast meters, we DO NOT mean pound their front screens in and get them to strike once again. it is not funny to have to walk home with aformentioned number and weight of bags after an annoying but thankfully short bus ride.
8. I do not want to look at Windows Movie Maker for another month now. i hate the fact that i can edit well.
9. speaking of Movie Maker, i do not want to complete my assignments due tomorrow. to hell with 40 marks. or not. yikes.
10. I hate boys. Officially. I'm no longer anticipating or looking for any new romantic associations. I will die a happy spinster. WITHOUT the cats, dogs or any other domestic animals that NEED to be domesticated.
11. I am currently shooting down every member of a certain group. except one. she's a nice lady, albeit a little loony at times.
12. I want to watch the cake-contest show on TV and not have to listen to the mind-numbingly annoying malayalam nonsense.
13. I want to go shopping.
14. I repeat: I want to go on a vacation.
15. I've come to realise today that some people only pretend to care for you. It's evident especially when you ask them to do the smallest of favours for you, while on the other hand you have friends who make you laugh when you have a red nose, blotchy face and tears all over, and others who do your assignments for you, even if that means waking up a little earlier or sleeping a little late.
16. Dear Hollywood, we need more chickflicks. like, lots of them.
17. I want to be able to wear sheer red lipstick without looking overdone. (I just thought about it. I hate being fair)
18. It's cold and the fan regulator is too far away. not good.
19. I want my mommy.
20. I really, really want my mommy.
21. I want my laptop to accept photoshop. I feel incomplete without it. Seriously.
22. I want my birthday to vanish. Which, i just realised, is in two weeks. Yikes.
23. I want Vodafone to get a life and stop telling me about how a certain Mr Marzipan (or a name close to that) won a new bike or a new wife or a new kidney. I really don't care. I promise to notify you the day i get my knee replaced.

I think I'm done. on the other hand though, I'm more than grateful for a wonderful team, for the friends who are willing to pause pre-recorded tv shows and read your rants, and for those who will try to cheer you up and answer your gruff, annoyed questions with a silly smile on their faces. I still want my mommy.

I think I'll go work a little. Oh look, colourful tablets. *sigh*


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