Sunday, June 28, 2009

Never Regret

i'm in a very hoop-la-doodle-dee-do-ish mood. i just got my hair chopped off. totally different for me. i had shoulder length thick hair, well now, its just in a short mop on my head. my grandmom stares at me like i just decided to turn into a man. i was just doing some thinking...about the times i spent in school, my ex-boyfriend, the times WE spent, friends who changed so much that they made it impossible for me to love them anymore, how much i've changed...and the newest thought was Michael Jackson. wasn't much of a fan to be honest, but yeah, he had me mesmerised everytime 'heal the world', 'thriller' and 'beat it' was played. all of this, gave me just one conclusion; you can fuck up as many times as you want, ruin your life, even, but that's what you're here for...you're here to create YOUR OWN mistakes, your own nightmares. and no matter how much guilt you have inside you, it's important to never regret any decision you ever made. yes, i'm guilty for doing SO many things wrong. everyday i wish i could correct my own mistakes. but that can't happen. we're human, heck we were born to be mistakes!! i'm glad i'm growing up to be more like my mom...though i'll never agree to one thing; i'm a spitfire...and once a spitfire, ALWAYS a spitfire! i'm glad for everything that messed up my life along the way. it's just given me thicker skin. at least i'm not crying over every silly fight or a rumor that's spread about me. i still don't know who i am, and honestly, i don't care if i die not knowing. for now, this is me, and i don't regret what i've become. some may think i'm this 'couldn't-care-less' bitch in a fat girl's body, but only those who know me know about the times i cry over my lies, my insecurities, my drawbacks. my support system, is you all.

i'm sorry i broke your heart, but it just wasn;t hapening.
i care a damn about what you say about me. the one's who care won't listen. the one's who listen, don't care.

i promise, i'll never regret anything. ever.

xxx

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