I adjust the rear view mirror,
See the scars left on my face,
Touch the skin, so red and wet,
Mouth twisted in pain, eyes dripping the tears I’d stopped from falling,
Hit reverse, but all I want to do is accelerate and run,
Silent, can’t say a word.
All I see is the cracked glass.
Happy, cheerful, that big smile you wanted to see,
Rewind and return to the starting line again,
Fall right back into the big black hole,
See the browns, the greens and the reds,
Laugh through the blur at the pictures of us all,
Lay down my heavy head, rest there for a while,
Hit repeat, play for a while,
A shine hits me from the cracked glass.
I see the brightest star in the sky,
Making it mine, it’s all the light I have left,
Stare off into space, sit at the balcony and look down,
It’s not much of a jump, why don’t I try?
And reality smacks back, with the sound of the phone beeping,
“Don’t you dare do anything”, I hear, ignore,
It’s like the voices in my head weren’t enough.
I notice the cracked glass.
Flowers for love, chocolates for pleasure,
Immerse yourself into the water,
Blood rush, hits you right in the head,
A kiss makes you weak, makes you feel loved,
Lock the door and crash,
Stare into the glare that’s looking right back at you,
Frown, look away, it’s embarrassing.
I think of the cracked glass.
Point fingers, they’re all to blame,
Wear the jacket and be someone else,
Adjust, plug in the noise,
Move along with it; let it drive you there,
Wind the clock, turn back time…
And I’m the kid again.
I walk to the cracked glass.
Suicidal, scream emergency,
Eyes closed, kohl spread all over my face,
Immobile, entranced, and stop,
Look around, so plain, so usual, so incomplete,
Give me back my smile; I’ve lent it too long,
One last breath, firm back, and I bleed.
As I step onto the cracked glass.