Saturday, April 25, 2009

Yes I’m throwing A Fit Again. Go Ahead. Deal With It. I Care A Damn.

The very fact that we say we’re teenagers puts this neon psychedelic image, with drugs, making out, booze, articulated language, misdemeanour, peculiarity, ciggies and the punk “revolution” into adults’ heads. Yes, we are peculiar at this age. Yes we have our mood swings. Yes, we think you talk sh*t at times and totally zone you out if we don’t want to listen to you. Yes, we get a sick satisfaction in gaining your disapproval many a times. And yes, we do think that those elastic freaky coloured rubber bands look revoltingly appealing. But seriously, ever looked back at YOUR life, and thought that maybe, she was WAY better then I ever was when I was that age?
Suuuure, we’re in the 21st CENTURY (oh my gosh. So freaky) and all, but notice it or not, our rules and regulations are WAY tighter then they ever were back in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. We’re teenagers for crying out loud. We’re at a point in our lives where WE honestly have no idea of what we are, where we’re going, what we can do and whether we even have a real life or not. Like all those high and mighty polished slit nosed psychologists often say, “These youngsters, or adolescents, are at a crossroads in their lives, and they aren’t sure of their age limits.” Well, I agree, for one. All you elders might just think that I’m being melodramatic for the heck of it, or that maybe it IS my job to be that way, since I’m a teenager, but honestly, ever thought what we’re going through here? We can’t tell you so many things of what we do or what we feel, only because we’re freaking out about the disapproval you have ready for us at the end of our dramatic-in-your-eyes and tearful speech. No if’s and but’s tolerated, you’ll just refuse to listen further. It’s like you have an invisible countdown clock in your head, and once we’ve shut up, our time is up. Simple. Also, we no longer have an opinion. Only your opinion is authorized and approved of.
As for the mood swings, why yes of course we have them. And here, I’ll just repeat a prior mentioned point, that we aren’t supernaturally malfunctioning humans, just average youngsters that you were once upon a long, long time! We’re not being melodramatic, just having a mild emotional seizure because we’re narked with “the world”, or have had a dramatized live action tiff with our current significant other, or are just plain pissed or are too busy “hating our lives”. Also, we agree that right now, we are ‘officially addicted’ to all the possible corny music, too-freaky-for-the-blind coloured junk, weird clothes, the high class snobby drama T.V soaps for girls and the doubled sports for the guys, our re runs, our cell phones, our technology and too much more!
Lastly, we aren’t pretentious, fake, snobby, careless and/or rebellious…or at least we don’t mean to be! We’re growing up, so try and help us out with all the questions without raising the red flag, won’t you, please?

Ghost

I feel your breath on my neck,
I hear your footsteps in the dark,
I feel your clear eyes on me, staring inside me,
But every time I turn to look, I see the plain wall,
And every time I look at the chair, it’s empty.
Ghost.

I know you’re there somewhere,
Staring at me and smiling from a little corner,
I know you’re out there, somewhere,
Surrounding me, protecting me,
I’m scared out of my skin,
Though I should feel loved.
Ghost.

I wonder if there was a moment you thought you’d live again,
And I think of how much I loved you,
No matter how I was to you,
I hope you know I always cared,
I miss you many times a day,
Wish you were here.
Ghost.

I’m alert all night,
Wondering if you’ll show yourself,
I know that might just make me more afraid of you and the world you’ve moved into,
But your last memory still ligers,
And I still feel the tears on my face,
Watching you go away.
Ghost.

You watched me then like I was an angel,
You look out for me now, invisibly keeping me out of harm’s way,
You answer my silly prayers for me, even though you don’t want to at times,
But you do it out of love for me,
I grew up, and didn’t bother to look back then,
I wish I could take that back, though I can’t.
Ghost.

I know you’re watching now,
As I write this, trying not to spill yet another tear,
You’ll all loved me deeply, and now continue to together,
Watch over the rest of us you’ll left behind,
Tears are shed, in the loneliness, pain eating us up at times,
And I just need you’ll to know I love you.
Ghosts.

Fairyland

We were born into a world of complete hypocrisy. To be honest, no one in the world ca be completely truthful to your face, not even yourself. We’re all just lying to ourselves at some point or the other, trying to shadow the harsh truth that we often never want to accept. We’re all imposters of our own being, our own kind, and our own kith and kin. You can be a poor, humble person. You can be a lawyer. You can even be a monk, for crying out loud! But the truth is that none of us know what we really are. We’re just living in this make believe world, with its make believe scenarios, passing by like the scenes in a long play.

It’s like living in a forest of dreams, where nothing is real once you wake up. Your wishes are all too beautiful to be reality. The universe is just this massive cluster of the lies we built for ourselves. We’re living; we’re breathing, but not understanding what we’re here for. So many of us claim we know who we are and what we’re made of, oh so confidently, but given a chance to be honest, we’d all just break down to reveal the unsatisfied souls. So many of us in this time, say we’re original; we’re one of a kind. One of a kind, sure, I’ll buy that. But original is like saying the North and South Pole are one and the same. No one’s original. Each one’s style and personality has a bit of each other in it. We’re all fragments of each other.

It seems that we all live in this make-believe magical world. Where there’s nothing to worry about, no pain to feel, and happiness all round the year. Like we have everything we ever needed. No sorrows, no hard work, and most especially, no imagination. We’re like fairies and gnomes and pixies, like every magical creature you can think of, straight from J. K. Rowling’s books, put into action with glee and energy. Where all like clockwork clowns, high on sugar. Basically, we’re all just fooling ourselves, trying to comfort each other with useless handshakes, smiles and hellos. With confident thoughts, massive smiles and straight talk. We’re all liars, living in one BIG fairyland.